chapter two

Ken and I were walking together from the café to my block. I love walking during sunset. The colour pastel across the sky is undeniably gorgeous and so romantic. It made me appreciate how beautiful nature is and how blessed we are.

We did not hold hands since we were not even official, but his big hands gripped my waist. I just love guys with big hands. So sexy. Once, I had a boyfriend named Gill and he had such small hands. His hands were as small as mine. I left him because I felt insecure. He could not protect me.

What if a burglar broke into my house? All I could imagine he would only scream like a crazy girl while his small hands lifted up high. Or maybe he would scream like when I got my first Dione von Furstenberg trench coat. I literally screamed till I lost my voice and I did not go to work for the next two days because I lost my confidence. That coat was given by my ex-boyfriend, John for my birthday.

We were already a block away from my apartment and I was hoping to death that he would kiss me. A plant on the cheek would do. Despite of him tripping me at the café, I just wanted a little teaser. A kiss.

“ So, I assume you have been dating a lot. You are attractive Mallory.” He said.

“Not really. I am quite busy with my work and usually I do not have time to date,” I replied, trying to sound humble. He was into me. I could feel this.

“I see. I also assume you love to impress a lot on your first date.” He continued.

What is wrong with this guy? He and his assumptions. It was kind of true though. But I did not like that. More of sarcasm than a question.

“Really Ken? Why is that?”I was curious.

He remained silent and his perfect rosy lips smiled. I could not read his mind. I did not know what he was thinking about. I was dying to know. Perhaps because I used a green eyeshadow? He did not know I used my Bobby Brown foundation stick and my Walmart eyeliner right? Or did he? This does not make sense.

“You think I am overdressed, don’t you?” I asked. Maybe with the heels, dress and make up for a first date in a café was too much for him? I would say that is ridiculous. This is how I dress. What is a girl if she does not wear heels? It is like what is a human if she does not buy a Furla bag which is already fifty percent off?

“No. I honestly think you look smoking hot.” Thanks. I would have slaughtered him if he said I looked like a lazy cow.

Now we were already in front of my apartment. We stopped, stared each other like we have been dating for years.

“Thanks baby. Do you want to come in?” I invited but I was hoping that he would say no. My house looked like a brothel with my g-strings clung to the curtains, condoms scattered on the floor and my untouched, unwashed dishes which looked like they were smothered with mud. I had to clean them some other time before he comes to my house.

I would buy some Chinese food for him and claimed I cooked them, spray some cans of air-freshener and hire a Latin cleaner to spruce up the house. Lies are delicious.

“No thanks darl. It is already dark and I gotta get going.” He said.

The sky was already purplish-black and I was leaning at the marble wall. It was so romantic. Come on, Ken. Give me a peck of love.

“Do you know why did I ask do you love to impress on first dates?” He asked. His body was close to mine.

“No, I don’t. “ I said. My eyes stared at his lips. Hoping. Praying that Jesus would be kind to me.

Jesus has always helped me in my first dates. That made me believe more in God though I do not go to churches. Believing is good enough for me rather than being a free-thinker. At least, I have somebody to pray to when I am in trouble.

“Well,” he continued. His body leaned gently on mine, his lips was just an inch away from mine and his big hands were placed somewhere near my breasts. At first, I thought it was too much. It was the first date and he wanted to cup my boobs in the public? What a pervert. But whatever, Ken is hot. I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy this moment.

“I accept you the way you are Mally.” He whispered into my ears.

 What the hell? He was not close to me anymore. What happened? I opened my eyes and I almost had a heart attack. I felt like my aorta was clogged with chunks of Thanksgiving chickens.

He smiled to his ears and his hands were holding some tissues which most of them were wet. Wait. Where did he get tissues from? Something is wrong.

He took it from my bra. Fuck! Maybe the tissues were not neatly tucked in my right bra. He knew my left breast is bigger than the right one.

Kill me, Jesus.